I love to watercolor, I always have. That’s partly why I was a graphic design major for a bit. One of my Facebook friends (I include Facebook because we are not really friends) took one class together in Fall of 2004 at MSU. It was an art class; I think it was 2D Design. I […]
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Poop Perils
Recently I read about a girl carrying around a turd in her purse to avoid leaving it in a non-flushing toilet. This story reminded me of the beautiful beaches of Jamaica, the only time I felt tan, and throwing poop on a wall. Let me explain… The year is 2006, I’m a sophomore in college […]
Mother
After I share stories about mother or express how obnoxiously crazy she is I normally get the reactions of- You only get one mother – yes, so? OR She’s very loving – yeah, so is my dog. So, if you’re thinking of all the good things to say about my mother (to defend her) take […]
Gma’s Got Beer in the Back
Sundays remind me of church with Gma, lunch after, and driving her car. Gma always has a cool car. Cool like this: in seventh grade she picked me up after school one day. She was in her brand new, shiny, money green two-door mustang. I still remember the wave of voices whispering the same question- […]
Wet Sock Spiral of Doom
The only thing I really like about winter is Christmas, and snow. In my opinion, Christmas comes way too early in winter- leaving much of the horrid coldness with little to look forward to. Snow is the only positive. Snow makes my world stand still. It’s so quiet, and wraps everything in a brilliant blanket […]
When All That Glitters Turns to Dirty Fingernails
On very rare occasions I go to the mall. I hate the mall. This morning I was there with specific business, but somehow got lured to a makeup kiosk. It went something like this: Sales Lady: Here you go, hun (hands me some flyer, which is still in my purse, which I still […]
Beat an Opossum 2 Death
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in a world all of my own, where I saw and remembered things the way I wanted to, giving no thought to actual reality. Then, I remember that my mother had this mythical land of her own. And I lived in it. I imagine […]
Where is Meet Place?
“Where is meet place?” It was at SOAR. That ridiculous program that all freshmen are required to take prior to the first semester of college at MSU. I had to come with my mom (for some reason it was required for parents to show up one of the days). My mom is directionally challenged […]
Two Blind Cats
I have two blind cats Two blind cats See how they don’t run Spiffy the first blind cat resembles a ferret She is not fluffy She does not purr She is not happy when I come home Every day I attempt to leave the house she runs and hides under my bed I then come […]
Ginger Problems
I just like to be creative and draw. I wish I could do that for a living. Maybe live on a beach. Walk my dog in the pleasant salty waters every morning. Then, set up my little hut and sell seashells to tourists. I think I’d give them funny faces and hot glue little googly […]